I would run around, throw things, shout things, and generally be a freak. Highlights of my time in prep-school involve climbing on the roof of my school using a Fire Exit ladder hanging from the school bathroom. Those times weren't exactly my best moments, and while I did attract a lot of attention, I also made a similar number of bad impressions.
Of course, I did have a lot of friends, after all, with stunts like mine, I was bound to pull in some people who would think I was fun to hang around, but I had an identical number of people that avoided me and outright denounced me. Most of them were girls, and they were quite vocal about their opinions on me. I especially remember the time when it was the birthday of one of my classmates, and one particular girl freaked out when she saw me approaching the birthday boy, before telling him in rapid-fire that he shouldn't let me attend his birthday or else I might do something weird again; admittedly, the day before that was the day I tried to bring down the schools transportable basketball ring (again, not my best moments), so her reaction, though a bit stinging, was understandable.
So where exactly am I going with this? There was this one girl, who, from day one, stood out to me. For privacy as well as personal reasons, I will not divulge her name, but simply refer to her as 'K' - K was a silent girl, but bright, as smart as me or possibly smarter. She had the grace and maturity of someone twice her age and had unrivaled social skills. She was the schools darling, and my first crush.
There, I said it. Does the reason for the title seem obvious yet?
In any case, what attracted me most to her wasn't her looks or her brains (though admittedly, she had a good share of both) but ultimately, her kindness. She was the nicest person I had ever met. Unlike the other girls, she could talk to me so patiently that I had to sit down and behave, or else I felt like I was committing some unspeakable crime by not doing so. K could sit through my blabbering (and anyone else's, for that matter) and still find the time and interest to respond accordingly. All these traits left a deep and long lasting impression on me, and while time has made those feelings fade into simple respect and admiration, I can still recall quite vividly how attracted I was to her.
Of course, realizing as how infatuated I was with her, I did the most logical thing: I confessed.
Take note: I confessed. At age SIX. To a girl I HAD ONLY KNOWN FOR LESS THAN A YEAR.
For the third time, allow me to say that these were not my best moments.
Obviously, I was rejected, on the obvious grounds that she didn't like me that way, but we did remain friends afterwards (the perks of being young and innocent: if you screw up a confession, nobody treats it as a big deal) so I was fine with that (again, the perks of being young and innocent); we were around each other for a good time afterwards, but eventually, we had to go our separate ways.
I wasn't heartbroken about it. I was young, and the concept of love hadn't really fully been realized yet, Still, her gentle nature and patience wouldn't be forgotten in a long time.
Eventually, five years passed and I was grade five. By that time, I had forgotten how she looked like, and even her real name; her nickname was what I remembered. Still, I didn't forget her attitude and disposition, and neither did I forget my affections for her. But still, she was the furthest thing from my mind - at least, she was the furthest thing from my mind.
Summer came, and I was grade-five-turning-grade-six, and we were spending our time in Baguio. Seeing as our cousins live near the Grotto Shrine, one of the more popular tourist destinations, it was natural that we visit it. At the time, I wasn't expecting much, just the usual 'up and down the stairs of death, say a quick prayer, then back down and gasp for air' routine, but just as I began the ascent up the stairs, my mother called my attention, mentioning a certain name I hadn't heard in five years.
If you haven't guessed it yet, I suggest you call a doctor or a psychiatrist.
Yes, it was her, looking at her then, grown up and still as mannered as I remember, I practically froze on the spot (Baguio's weather not withstanding) and suddenly, a lot of different feelings came rushing back, only this time, they had the blessing and curse of an older perspective. For the first time in my life, I was embarrassed of showing affection.
We spent a little time catching up with each other about that, but I'll gloss over that. The important part is that I began wondering: I still feel this way after five years, will it be the same after five more? Six more? Will I like anyone as much as I did (and still do) her? We haven't met since that time at the Shrine, but I feel that the only way I'll be able to get an answer to my questions, is if I meet her again, face-to-face.
